Tag Archives: Bodyguard

groupies

soundbites from our stint in the life of a groupie…
Cat filled us in on Jason’s early romances. She goes way back with Jason. They are practically from the same hometown. If only he knew…
Cat: “This is Cat. I’m very upset because I’ve known Jason since before he was a Somebody. I’ve known him since he was a Nobody. I loved him. I adored him. I know people who know him and I know people who have dated him. And basically I’m a Virginian, he’s a Virginian, and we should be Virginians together.
“So I totally know the girl who he totally leaned in to kiss, and I think she started it all. Her name is Melanie. She is in Broadway. They were down in Alexandria, down near the river, and he leaned in to kiss her.”
WHY NOT? WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!?
“She was petite, beautiful, blonde, blue eyes, everything Hitler would want.” Thank you Cat.
“I drove all the way from North Dakota to Montana, flew to Spokane, and I’ve been camping here since 4:00. I KNOW I’ve come longer and loved him more and longer than anybody else here.” -Miss North Dakota, passionately, desperately. She was a sweetheart.
Toca came out and took a few pictures.
“I wish I was you [to Toca] because you get to harmonize with Jason Mraz. That’s my dream.” –adoring fan
“&%# **** hmmmmmm.” – filthy groupie
“Don’t cross the line! no, no, no! I see you!” -bodyguard to line-crossing fan, sternly.
Me to the Bodyguard, professionally curious: “What was your scariest experience ever?” Kindly Bodyguard, thoughtfully: “I got mobbed by a group of… women who were ‘the Other Way.’ [chuckle chuckle] That’s what we used to say at least – I’m old-fashioned. This one punched me and started going after me – I didn’t want to tackle her, but I had to. They were getting dangerous.” (was this at a Janet Jackson concert? I don’t know.)
“I want to …….” – slutty groupie – give us a bad name.
“We can sign your autograph, we’d be happy to!” – random guard-person, giddy.

Ye Kindly Bodyguard

Ye Kindly Bodyguard

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